Have
you ever felt as if God was using your life for target practice? I have to
admit that I did not coin the phrase, Taaarget
Practice! I actually heard it in a
cartoon years ago. I believe it was a
Looney Tunes character, maybe Bugs Bunny.
I digress….
When
God tapped me on the shoulder to write my entry this earrrly morning, the film
Joyful Noise was in the background. I know, I know, I should not sleep with the
television on, but bear with me!
During
a segment of the film, Dolly Pardon was singing a melodic duet with a young
man. I forget his name. “From Here to
the Moon and Back.” Wow! I know a few women who wish that someone
would love them in that magnanimous proportion!
Besides, God I mean….
Another
scene in the movie depicted Queen Latifah talking to a young man that seemed to
have lost his spunk. “I think that
lately God has been using me for target practice.” He lamented. After a few inspiring words, he was able to “get
the Spirit” back in the choir’s performance.
The cogs in my heart space starting churning. I thought, “Love and support helps add balm
to the darts that we all experience at times.
I thought of my oldest child and
the first time I saw his sweet little face on January 1, 1983. It seems like a lifetime ago. I thought of the day that I brought him to
the hospital to see his baby brother. He
took one look at the tiny bundle in my arms that he seemed to think would
replace him, “He’s cute. Can we leave
him here?” He was only two and a
half. Who was this stranger in his Mommy’s
arms? A warm, fond smile washes across my face as I envision that precious moment.
Then the finale arrived with Little Miss Thing. She was the last of the Mohican's. I recall the boys unwittingly pulling her petite
arms from either side, “My Sistah!” I
had to intervene so that the boys would not unintentionally sever their baby
sister’s limbs. I would lovingly cuddle
the three of them and say, “She belongs to you both.” Such beautiful memories….and
then the darts and arrows emerged.
I suspect that I am not the only
person that incurred war wounds in life’s battle. I will likely mention my son’s murder
throughout my posts. Bear with me; it’s
a healing balm for me to finally tell the story. I do not tell the story for sympathy…no
way! I tell it to heal myself, and to
heal someone else who may be feeling the pain and devastation that losing a
child can bring.
Yes, I thought that God was using
me for target practice! It seemed that
everything imaginable went wrong in my life for years! For eight years after my son’s ascent to
heaven, the storm recurrently raged. I supplicated
God. I begged for forgiveness for any
sin I may had committed. I cried. I toiled.
Nothing appeared to lessen the blows of the fiery darts protruding my
soul.
I did everything that I knew how to
do in my marriage. I still ended after
twenty-five years. I did everything that
I had learned as a mother. My sons were
still caught up in a drive by shooting, fatally wounding one and maiming the
other for life! I went the right
directions with education. There was no
resolve to the flying arrows that hit my life. I know now that those arrows were sent my way
so that I could feel the pain of piercing much like Christ felt on the
cross. I am not preaching…I’m just sayin’.
Every arrow and every dart that
seemed aimed at me became lessons that I have learned. Every time I cannot talk to or hold my son
again, is a time that I must hold another parent who feels anguish when their
child is struck down. It is a war zone
here in the Bay Area and all over the nation.
I am from Chicago, murder capital last year. I live near Oakland, California. God help us!
My message is clear. Life brings darts. But that does not mean that God is using us
for target practice. I urge you today…find
someone who is going through a little something, and lift them up. Depression is rampant in our society. There are so many negative influences
happening all around us.
I encourage you; find someone to
help today besides yourself. Take time for
someone else’s edification and restoration for a change. Assist another lonely or melancholy spirit in
dodging a few of the darts that impede all of our live at times. Love others who need it, as the lyrics to the
song states, “From Here to the Moon and Back.”
Yours,
Zuhura
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